A Shortcut to Mushrooms

On Friday I visited Goodison Park to watch an Everton match, fulfilling a dream birthed nearly six years ago, when I set off on my journey as a fan of the Blues. It’s been quite a ride. There have been incredible highs – that first year under Roberto Martinez, Jagielka’s screamer against Liverpool, Lukaku’s emasculation of Young Boys. Naismith’s perfect hattrick against Chelsea, Oumar Niasse showing up Ronald Koeman by scoring two late goals as a substitute in a comeback victory, Rooney’s storybook return at the start of last year. But this is Everton we’re talking about, so there also been miserable lows. Epic collapses – from John Terry’s late “equalizer” to the match against Bournemouth, to THAT goal against Liverpool. Drubbings, like the 4-0 away fixture at Anfield, our evisceration by Yarmolenko in Kyiv, 5-0 against Chelsea. Consistent inconsistency, frequently embarrassing performances against bottom-feeders, the grim acceptance of the gap between us and the “b...